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 Ask
"Chicken Leg" Larry
Dear Larry--I've been mulling over whether or not to
become a panhandler or not. The guys on the corner of Fulsom and Brach
St.'s make it look fun. Do you have any advice for those of us
on the fence about a career in begging for hand-outs?
--Lethargic in Lebanon
Dear Lethargic,
You know what they say in Akron, bro? Carpe Diem!
Roughly translated, it means "Seize the Day!"
And seize it those guys do. I mean, what do you want
to do for the rest of your life? Oh sure, you can get a job, live with
Mom and Dad (no rent), and welch out some ridiculously meaningless life in a
cubicle, eating Top Ramen and working under flourescent lighting.
Or, you can take control of your life, get away from Mom and
Dad's charity, and land some of the best pay around. The panhandling
life is full of adventure, great friends, and, did I mention CASH??!!!
I'm talking cold, hard cash. You know the kind I mean,
the ones with Presidents and other famous guys stamped right on it.
Shiny, silver and/or bronze. The makings of the American Dream!!
So, stop makin' excuses and get out there! Find your
niche (or corner), and start making up some signs for all occasions. It
don't take much more than a pizza box and a Sharpietm before
you're in Business!
Good luck, man--I wish I was just starting out all over
again.
| Chicken Leg Larry is a national advice
columnist for many Panhandling trade newsletters and periodicals.
He works the I-83 Exit 12 on-ramp near Washington D.C. |
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