Perplexa_r

                                (crazipine)

1What is Perplexa?     

What is Perplexa?

Perplexa_r is NOT for Everyone.

Tell your doctor about your medical conditions and all medications, and ask if you're healthy enough to use this fantastic, almost-perfect means of escape.

Perplexa_r is a new, wonderful way for people to escape the rigors of typical sanity.  Daily life can be tough, why deal with it in your right mind?

Is Perplexa_r  for you?

To find out if Perplexa_r is right for you, ask yourself these questions: Do you understand this website?  Do you understand how to drive a car?  Do you always know what year it is?  Name your children--go ahead, do it.  Are you finished?  Were you right?

If you answered any of these questions correctly--You need Perplexa_r

Known Problems

Perplexa_r is not for everyone.  Side effects include (and are not limited to):

• heart attacks

• heart palpitations

• malaria

• gonorrhea

• teeth falling out

• starvation

• meanness

• terrible, terrible diarrhea

• dry mouth

• wet mouth

• forgetfulness (D.U.H.)

• weird-looking knobby things

• tick bites

• sunburn

• rope burn

• turning Chinese

• greed

• restless legs syndrome (R.L.S.)

• homelessness

• transvestitism

• liking American Idol

• peeing your pants

• peeing in someone else's pants

• e coli/salmonella

• cutting coupons

• streaked-up underwear

• athlete's foot (tinea pedis)

• athlete's ass (tinea heinis)

• acute hearing

• did we mention terrible, terrible diarrhea?

• diaper blowouts

• forgetfulness

• horrendous body odor

• turning gay--then turning back

• republicanism

• becoming Mormon

• and, in many cases, sudden death

Death Statistics

Perplexa_r is not for everyone--hell, we're just glad it's legal.  That said, the FDA insists we provide future Perplexa_r patients with these statistics:

• In 2003, one out of every two people who took the active ingredient, crazipine, fell down a well, or were gunned down in public.

• In 2004, the name, Perplexa_r, had been changed from Idiotafil_r due to 700,000 pills that had been misspelled and taken as insults from consumers.

• That same year (2004), those same consumers bought an estimated $2.4 billion for ailments ranging from headaches to herpes medication.

• 30% of all Perplexa_r users die within 72 hours of first dose.

• Almost 50% of America voted for George W. Bush.

• We wish the President would try Perplexa_r

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